


Scared, Horny and Confused

by mintywrites



Category: Fargo (2014)
Genre: M/M, not really smut but almost kind of smut, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2223075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintywrites/pseuds/mintywrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new pair of hitmen in Fargo- silent, identical twins with matching mutton chops, and Numbers can't get them out of his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scared, Horny and Confused

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lemonison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonison/gifts).



The first time Numbers saw them, he was riding the elevator up to the syndicate office. When the elevator doors opened, he was met face to face with two tall, intimidating men. They looked almost identical- their curly, copper hair was cut in the same style, complete with matching mutton chops; they were both wearing clothing that could be found on a cowboy from the 70’s; and they both had piercing green eyes. The two men stood almost perfectly still, with neutral, yet silently menacing facial expressions. Like two stone statues, they loomed over the smaller man as he scrambled out of the elevator. Numbers hadn't felt this terrified in years. Sure, he had killed plenty of people before, but from a sizeable distance and with the help of a firearm. But being unarmed in such close quarters with these two men who could snap Numbers in half without thinking twice really put him on edge. Numbers held his breath as he watched the them enter the elevator out of the corner of his eye, and sighed in relief when he saw the door close behind them.

The memory of the two silent hitmen stuck with Numbers for the next few days. He couldn’t stop thinking about them- there was just something about their raw, masculine presence that struck Numbers in a way that he’d never felt before. Sure, Fargo was brimming with tough guys, but these two were different. They gave off a vibe he could only describe as carnal.

He heard talk around the office about them- their names were Mr. Hammer and Mr. Wrench. They had been bodyguards for one of their guys out in Montana, Mike Hirsch. But when Hirsch turned out to be a fed, Hammer and Wrench took him out, and Fargo promoted them to hitman status. He also heard that at least one of the twins was deaf, as they talked to each other in sign language, and no one had heard either of them speak. Numbers asked around for more information on them, but it seemed that that was all anyone knew about Hammer and Wrench. Numbers gulped- he guessed he would have to find out more about them for himself. He was very conflicted about this prospect- thinking about getting close to the two men sent a shiver down his spine. Whether it was a shiver of fear or excitement, Numbers couldn’t tell, but he figured it was a bit of both.

The second time Numbers saw the twins was a few days later, at a bar with some of the other guys from Fargo. Numbers hated getting together with his fellow syndicate workers, but he really felt he needed to give the impression that he was a “team player”. Numbers spotted Wrench and Hammer from across the table. One of the twins was looking around the room, as if he expected someone to come out of nowhere and try to kill them all unexpectedly. The other twin, clad in a dark brown leather jacket, was staring at Numbers with a look that he was sure he’d given many people over the years- a look that said, “I am going to kill you.”

Numbers gulped. He had been on the wrong end of that look a few times in the past, but this time it was actually making him fear for his life. Damn. These guys are good. Numbers decided to calmly and slowly finish his drink before making his exit. He said goodnight to his fellow hitmen and stood up to leave, but in the split second before he turned towards the door, he saw leather jacket twin get up. Numbers’ eyes widened and he gulped- hopefully inaudibly- before reaching the door and heading out to his car. He could feel the tall hitman’s eyes on his back, and he scrambled to get his keys out and unlock the door. When he got into the car and backed out of the lot, he could see the two hitmen standing in the doorway, probably taking note of the make, model and license plate number of his car. The image of leather jacket twin’s death glare was burned into Numbers’ mind, and throughout the drive back to his apartment, Numbers periodically checked his rear view mirror, expecting to see the two men following him in a pickup truck. He made it safely back to his place and immediately poured himself a glass of scotch- the stuff they had at the bar wasn’t nearly strong enough.

For the next few days after that, Numbers was continually on edge. Every time he turned a corner, he expected to see Hammer and Wrench waiting for him on the other side. He could barely sleep- every time he closed his eyes, they immediately shot back open and darted towards his bedroom door, convinced they’d see the silhouettes of the twins standing in the doorway. It was beginning to drive Numbers mad, so one morning he walked into the syndicate office to ask to be sent on a mission far, far away from Fargo.

It was then that he saw them for the third time. One was in a denim button-down shirt, the other in plaid. It really bothered Numbers that he had no idea which brother it was who had been giving him the death glare the other night at the bar. He would just have to keep an eye on both of them. Numbers gulped as he walked past them, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw the plaid-wearing twin look him up and down, as if he were checking him out. Numbers quickly skirted off to the end of the hall where his boss’s office was and knocked on his door. While waiting for the boss to open up, Numbers heard something behind him and turned around. The plaid twin was standing in the hallway, chin tilted up slightly, and staring down into Numbers’ eyes. Numbers’ pulse quickened as he watched the tall man smirk at him. Just then, Numbers heard the boss call him in, and he quickly opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind him.

About ten minutes later, Numbers happily exited the syndicate office, new assignment in hand. He would leave tomorrow morning, and finally be two states away from the man who wants to kill him, or sleep with him, or both. Numbers wasn’t quite sure. Or maybe one man wanted to sleep with him and the other wanted to kill him. Numbers groaned as he climbed into his car and began the drive back to his apartment.

The fourth time he saw them, he had just returned to Fargo and needed to stop by the syndicate office to fill out some paperwork. As he was walking towards the door, Hammer and Wrench grabbed him out of nowhere. One twin held him while the other duct taped his wrists and ankles and blindfolded him before shoving him into the trunk of their car. Numbers desperately tried to escape the trunk, but to no avail. When the car reached a stop, Numbers could feel himself being carried up a flight of stairs. Suddenly the blindfold was removed from his eyes, and a dark silhouette stood in front of him. Once his eyes adjusted, he realized that they were in a windowless room with low lights- the type of room Numbers regularly interrogated suspects in. The twin in the brown leather jacket was looming over him, staring him down, making him sweat. Numbers watched in terror as the man rolled up his sleeve and punched Numbers in the face, breaking his nose. Numbers screamed in pain, and when he looked up, the plaid twin stood in the leather twin’s place. Numbers’ eyes widened as he watched the plaid twin smile at him warmly before dropping to his knees in front of him. He ripped Numbers’ dress shirt open and kissed him down his chest and stomach, getting dangerously close to his groin. Numbers began to moan with pleasure, when suddenly he looked down to see that the leather twin was now kneeling before him. Numbers tried to scream, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. The leather twin reached up and grabbed his head, turning it sharply to snap his neck.

Numbers jolted awake. He was covered in sweat. His breathing was ragged and his heart was beating out of his chest. Numbers hadn’t had such a vivid nightmare in years. He flopped back down onto the bed and tried his best to go back to sleep.

His next job went fairly smoothly. It was a simple overdue debt, fingers and toes kinda hit. He had managed to get a almost a thousand bucks out of the guy, so Numbers just needed to report back to Fargo and give them the money. It was then that he saw the twins (in the flesh) for the fourth time. Well, at least one of them.

The elevator reached the third floor, and the doors slowly opened. As Numbers began to step out of the elevator, he looked up from his newspaper to see one of the twins standing in his way. Numbers froze as he felt the man’s hand on his chest, pushing him back into the elevator. The man wrapped a hand lightly around Numbers’ throat while the door closed behind them. He gulped as he watched the taller man use his other hand to press the button labeled _basement._ Numbers had seen enough horror movies to know how this was going to end. He bit his lip and closed his eyes as he silently prayed to a god he hadn’t spoken to since he was seven. _Please let me live._

Numbers opened his eyes in surprise when he felt the hand on his throat fall back to his chest. He looked up at the man hovering over him and inhaled sharply as the taller man leaned down to give him a kiss. It was hungry and passionate. Without thinking twice, Numbers leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth for him, grabbing the back of his head, pulling him closer. Suddenly, the elevator came to a halt, and the man quickly straightened his posture and turned around. Numbers put a hand to his cheek. It was on fire. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. Numbers stood inside the elevator with a dumbfounded expression, until he saw the twin turn around to look at him. The twin smirked and raised his eyebrows, beckoning Numbers to join him in the dank, dimly lit hallway of the deserted basement. Numbers eagerly followed him. The boss could wait another hour for his money.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue: It turns out the reason Hammer was giving Numbers a death glare was because he knew that Wrench had a crush on Numbers. Hammer gets very overly protective of his baby brother and wanted to scare Numbers away from him. But his efforts were futile because nothing can keep Numbers from Wrench uwu


End file.
